Literary Directions

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A sign to keep track of all these places. Now, we just need a map!

~ L the V

Bad Guys Anonymous

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Today, dear readers, I would like to talk about a very serious issue.

Friends don't let friends become bad guys. 

Villains, while strictly speaking necessary in any given story, are quite unpleasant. They cause so much destruction, despair, and unhappiness.

Let's look at a few examples:

Smaug: while he couldn't really help being the villain, look how many problems this dragon caused.

Hook: little Maggie is right, he does need a Mommy.

Voldemort: now that's a guy with serious parent issues and an inferiority complex.

Those crazy queens in Alice's adventures: Who ever gave them power in the first place? They're all crazy.

Sauron: talk about evil and lust for power. And scary looking.

Sher Khan: now that's a creature who knows how to hold a grudge. Forgiveness is the only antidote.

Darth Vadar: more daddy issues. And serious misjudgments of character.

White Witch: my own personal villain. Similar to Voldemort, her insatiable lust for power did finally lead to her downfall. She was a bad lady.


Clearly, these examples show just how bad bad guys (and ladies) can be. It's all of our responsibilities to ensure that no more bad guys of their league rise up.

If you have a friend whom you think might be turning towards the dark side, please contact Bad Guys Anonymous at 1-800-BAD-GUYS.

This is a serious issue. But we all can help.

Remember, Friends don't let friends become bad guys.  


~ Lucy the Valiant

Becoming a Queen in Five Easy Steps

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Another dear Queen(to-be) friend: Kate with tiny Aslan

I must begin with a shout out to my dear friend, Alice, who has contributed much to my understanding of how to become a queen. Alice herself spent much time with, if I do say so, quite eccentric queens in a place called Wonderland. She has taught me to always remember my manners and to take great care when meeting other creatures for the first time (the latter through what not to say).

So, without further ado, here are my five tips on becoming a queen:

1) A prophecy. While this step is not strictly necessary, it sure does help. I wouldn't have known I was destined to become a queen if Mr. Beaver hadn't shared these prophecies with us:

Wrong will be right, when Aslan comes in sight,At the sound of his roar, sorrows will be no more,When he bares his teeth, winter meets its death,And when he shakes his mane, we shall have spring again. 

When Adam's flesh and Adam's bone,Sit at Cair Paravel in throne,The evil time will be over and done.

and

Down at Cair Paravel there are four thrones, and it's a saying in Narnia time out of mind that when two Sons of Adam and two Daughters of Eve sit in those four thrones, then it will be the end not only of the White Witch's reign but of her life.

2) A foe. To become a queen, there must of course be an adversary for you to overthrow. Almost always, this will be a dark and evil person. Careful, these always seem to come back somehow.

3) A special power. You might either have a special inherent ability or skill, or be given a specific gift by another. Mine, of course, is healing through the vial of juice from the fire-flower [Side note: Father Christmas is real!]. If you are not likely to receive such a gift, start practicing a specific skill now.

4) Partners. Like many things in life, becoming a queen is much easier with faithful friends at your side. In my case, my siblings were able to support each other through our transition.

5) Faithful Subjects. This step is the most important. Wherever you go in your kingdom (and life in general) you must always be kind and loving to people. Ask their names (and remember them). Don't references other creatures they may have long-standing feuds with (shout out to Alice on that one!). Be interested in their lives.

Well, that's it! On second thought, maybe those aren't so easy ...

~ L the V